First Evangelical Free Church Sioux City, Iowa

Review: Family Shepherds

As I speak with other pastors in the region, a common theme rises to the surface regarding the families in our churches: it is very hard to get men to commit to being the spiritual leaders of their families. There are a number of reasons for this, some related to the men themselves (perhaps they don't want to lead, they put in too many hours at work, or they themselves don't follow Christ) to our society (which cares little for men stepping up to the plate and seems to discourage boys from growing into mature manhood) to perhaps even the way in which some of our churches function (by not calling men to a higher standard of faithfulness). Whatever the cause, it can be commonly agreed upon that we men must find ways to raise our brothers up as those who will lead their families well in pursuit of God's glory.

Enter Family Shepherds by Voddie Baucham. The entirety of this book is devoted to showing men how they can better lead their families spiritually. One crucial passage that Pastor Baucham points out repeatedly is Ephesians 6:1-4, the end of which reads "Fathers...bring them [your children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." He then goes on to say: "It is fathers - not youth ministers, children's ministers, or preschool ministers - who are charged with this duty of discipling the next generation." Powerful stuff indeed. We men have been charged with a high calling by the Scriptures and therefore we must be found faithful to that calling (note that I said "faithful," not perfect).

Ranging through a number of topics, including the breakdown of the family, the way that churches often divide upon generational lines, the shattering of home life into a place where "they share an address and a last name, but they don't share life", to speaking directly towards a man's marriage and how he disciplines his children, I found this book to be an extremely helpful read which was quite Biblical, though not without the odd disagreement in application here or there.

On chapter that I found especially helpful was "The Purpose of Marriage," near the end of which Pastor Baucham points out that God uses our marriages to progressively mature and sanctify us: "One of the tools he's [God] using in this process is your wife. You're impatient, so he gave you a woman who's very different than you are in order to work patience in you. You're selfish, so he gave you a woman who needs and depends upon you." If only more and more folks could see this truth in their marriages: it's not always about smooth sailing, but instead it's about God working in us, sometimes in ways we'd rather He not, but always for our own good and His eternal glory.

Another topic that the author nails dead center concerns the role distinctions between men and women. This is a much argued and disagreed upon point, and yet we do see Scriptural support for the man taking leadership in the home. However, Pastor Baucham helpfully points out that this is often misunderstood to be some sort of distinction in quality, character, or worth (which it is not) as opposed to a distinction in responsibility: "In the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings...the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction (requoted from Ray Ortlund)."

All of these wonderful points said, the book is not without its flaws, though they are few and far between. Though I did not find any big picture concepts that I disagreed with, there were a handful of occasions in which the author seemed to be pushing his supporting points a bit past what they actually proved. Pastor Baucham spends a great deal of time trying to show the proliferation of what he terms "Pelagian" parenting books, i.e. books that only address behavioral issues rather than spiritual ones. While this is certainly a present danger, a few of the quotations that Baucham gives don't seem to support his points very well, if at all, especially his rant on a popular parenting book by Michael Pearl, where the quote that Baucham offers on p.118 doesn't appear to back up his argument. I am not defending Michael Pearl or his works, but at the same time I didn't see that Baucham offered an accurate explanation of those he criticized either even though his larger points are certainly accurate. Thus I would caution the reader to take the comparisons that Baucham offers with a grain of salt and to always read carefully.

Another area that readers may want to be aware of is the chapter on "Corrective Discipline." Opinions will vary across Christianity - some will read this chapter and want to throw the book across the room, otherwise will stand and cheer. In either case, Baucham is well worth reading here for the challenge that he gives for his side of the debate which should spur the reader towards their own Biblical thinking, whether they find themselves in agreement or in opposition.

These thoughts aside, Baucham's book is a quick read that I would recommend for those who will take the time to study it carefully, applying what is good and Biblically-sound while setting aside some of the more extreme examples. My prayer is that it will help many Christian men to understand the task that is laid before them and to seek the Lord for it's accomplishment.

(In the interest of full disclosure, I want to note that the publisher of this book, Crossway, provided it at no cost to me as a review sample. That said, my review is in no way influenced or controlled by them and thus I give my review of this book with honesty and integrity and have received no compensation for this review)